I prayed and prayed it wouldn’t happen but Annie had a machine that directed my prayers out in space so no one actually heard them, well anyone that counted anyway. Annie listened to them and most of the time shared them on her youtube channel and made meme’s out of them with a photoshopped photo of me. ‘Praying Slam,’ she called it.
I don’t even know why I prayed because once Annie heard my prayers, and no place was private as Annie had long ago acquired the ability to capture my words, movements and even my thoughts, Annie would make the opposite happen. It was bound to happen anyway, Annie and Duh-Wayne had been planning it for a month or six of Sundays and now with Elm Tree hanging out and becoming a part of the menagerie that hung in my back yard on a daily basis, there was no way it couldn’t have happened.
Nascart! It was all Duh-Wayne had talked about. His brain child that would make him famous. Fame, that was Duh-Wayne’s desired. He wanted his face plastered all over the internet and his name in lights. He could see it on Broadway, “Famous Duh-Wayne; the musical.” He polished his ballet slippers daily. He always knew it would happen and he was on the cusp of it with Nascart; and if that didn’t work he had the Shopping Cart Museum.
The shopping cart museum was a project Duh-Wayne and Annie began and never thought they would see the completion of. They built the building and Annie hung a piece of paper on the wall that explained the history of the shopping cart. Annie wrote the top half in her big backwards letters most of it misspelled and illegible and Duh-Wayne wrote the bottom half in tiny letters saving a spot for his drawing of a 12th century shopping cart.
Duh-Wayne had already acquired a bunch of shopping carts, that is how Nascart started, ‘What to do with 150 partly banged up shopping carts!” There had recently been a surge in the sale of shopping carts in the Annie and Duh-Wayne junk yard in the back yard; because of Nascart.
The original plan was to sell the shopping carts off because Duh-Wayne was always getting these deals but in bulk, like when he got a deal on 19 bolts of green and black plaid. 18 bolts of it still covered every piece of furniture in my house and part of a wall. I was charged for 18 bolts plus labor from Annie and Duh-Wayne’s business called ‘Up Up upholstery chumps. That whole transaction was accomplished during one of my morning walks; one half hour and Grandfather slept through it even when Annie cut the bed in half with a chain saw to make room for Duh-Wayne’s dog sled. That is what she said.
The shopping carts didn’t sell, though they just took up space in the back yard. What made it worse was Duh-Wayne was so hyped on selling them he bought several more racks of shopping carts. They did get rid of a few, trading them off to some homeless person. It was one of these transactions that lead to the idea of a museum. One guy wanted to trade his odd looking yellow cart for a more normal looking one. Annie took one look at his yellow cart with a googled eyed face and she fell in love. She had to had that cart. She definitely traded one cart for the yellow one and let him fill his cart with items from the junk yard and offered him a place to park his cart at night in her park with benches and tents. The museum idea emerged because both Duh-Wayne and Annie had a passion for shopping carts; they loved them ever since the first time they ran one into someone’s heels or over someone toes.
So after they got the yellow cart with the face on it they built the museum and put the yellow cart on display next to the piece of paper Annie tacked to the wall. Then she and Duh-Wayne got several different carts from different stores and placed them in various spots around the museum with a piece of paper, written in Annie’s handwriting on top and Duh-Wayne’s on the bottom, describing said cart. Annie never even bothered looking any of her information up, she just made it up as she went along. Duh-Wayne drew his 12th century shopping cart on every one. They had five altogether and they were lucky to have them.
Then Elm Tree came into their lives. I love how I have friends and somehow some way they are introduced to Annie and pfffttt Annie has a new friend. I mean look at Curry and Duh-Wayne; Curry’s dad, grandfather to the famous Abe and Bryan. All of them now friend’s with Annie.
Elm Tree had a passion for shopping carts too. It came from the old days, down on the Island, the long one when Elm Tree was a young girl. Elm Tree was the best shopping cart slider in her hood. There was no one back in the day who could handle a cart like Elm Tree. It was her passion. She lived, ate, breathed and talked shopping carts.
Want to know how many bags of sugar fits in a cart, she knew. Want to know when the first shopping cart with four wheels was invented; she knew. Want to know what kind of material a certain cart was made out of she knew. She also knew the history of the store behind each cart. Which cause plenty of debates between Elm Tree and Annie, because Annie who made up facts screamed fake news at Elm Tree all day long.
Elm Tree took it in stride like she did everything. Like when she came over and Annie was rocking on a rocking horse in a pair of short shorts and no shirt. But the best part about Elm Tree was that she had a storage shed full of shopping carts just looking for a home in a museum.
Elm Tree also had the great idea of taking some of the extra carts and using them to make a ride through the museum where people could ride through it on a cart while listening to Elm Tree rap the history of shopping carts through a microphone. Grandfather and Duh-Wayne rapped in ‘Nas-cart Nas-cart’ and Annie screamed, “do the Nas-cart Strut Do the shopping cart do the shopping cart.” And they were all clapping. They all wore dreds except for Elm Tree cause her hair was ‘fly’ already.
I was forced to record it several times because they wanted a bunch of out takes so they could make a video of it. The video was to be displayed on the wall so people could watch it while they rode around in the carts.
It was a huge hit. People came from near and far just to visit the museum and to buy a cart from Duh-Wayne and Annie’s junk yard and prepare themselves for a greatest thing since sliced pizza, “Nas-cart!’
The only thing left to do was build their carts and start their engines. The race was about to begin.

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