Annie always had a Halloween party, she does it every year, this was the first year that she didn’t go trick or treating , but since Annie Jr was getting truck loads of food, money, diamonds, gold bars and the like there was no need. Annie never had her party on Halloween day though. She might trick or treat on Halloween but after 8 pm when trick or treat officially ended, Halloween Night was reserved; reserved for raising the dead, summoning demons, brewing some sort of ‘spell’, creepy cursed dolls, zombies, ghosts driving lawn mowers, vampires, monsters, clowns with red balloons, chain saws, centipedes (Duh-Wayne was in on that one; victoriously getting a center spot he snapped his straw in half thus drawing the short one.)
Annie did most of this on a daily basis. Asa the lawn mower ghost pretty much lived at our house. I was getting a little tired of him floating around screaming, “You gonna fry me up some aigs, woman, side a bacon and fire me up some cawfee.”
At least once a week, she was brewing something or studying spells dressed as a witch, usually the day she also became a Vampire, or Zombie, (she played the Sims a lot so she loved acting it out in reality, I got tired of the grim reaper showing up and having to go out and beg for Annie’s life because she had moved herself into the property she called the retirement home and she killed the elders off by starving them to death.)
And Kiko, she not only raised him from the dead but also made him a zombie. It was so ‘normal’ in our family, though that Phil would root for the zombies when she saw them on tv and ask if they were okay.
Who could forget her Serial Killer Saturdays, last week it was the back yard table saw massacre. I knew she was planning something weird for the next one when I heard her cooing to a herd of bleeting sheep, “Silence while I put the lotion on your wool.” Morganna usually came for these events.
There was the old black telephone with the rotary dial that she had gotten from Dinyell. It apparently at one time belonged to some old lady. It rang even if it wasn’t plugged in. If you answered it a eerie old voice would ask for Vera. Annie always answered it. She would yell, “Vera’s not here man!” Other times she would just carry on a conversation pretending to be Vera.
Her dowsing rods she used them daily making sure she was up close and personal with me so I would get hit with them. Lately she was getting daily mystery haunted packages and possessed items. So when the haunted doll came up of course she had to get it.
Her doll collection! She began collecting dolls when she heard K8 was but with her revenue and my magic card, Annie was able to mass a large collection in a short amount of time. We had to ‘donate’ one whole wall of our bedroom for Annie’s collection, it fills half the room. Her collection is quite odd, some are weird some are creepy.
Annie learned to throw her voice, she has a creepy looking Howdy Doody doll, he was a weird old puppet from the 50’s. She’d throw her voice and make him say, “Howdy Doody!” Then he would throw poop at me. Sometimes, his voice was different though. Annie is good at adding an accent meaning she can attempt an accent, her British accent sounds like, lispy southern with a studder. But she can’t change the pitch of her voice at all, high, shrill and screechy. This voice was low and scary like, “How-diddly-do-diddly.” It wasn’t Annie’s voice but it could have been Duh-Wayne as Annie has been teaching him to throw his voice too.
He was one of Annie’s favorite dolls. She had a Mrs. Beasley doll, that spoke without pulling the string but she only said, “kiss my grits!” A farting Ken doll named, “Brob” of all things. He wore black horned rimmed glasses. He had once belonged to Din-yell and Annie’s mom and was a beloved doll to both of them. He gotten lost about 14 years ago, so I was kind of surprised to see him. He never used to fart, but he did have the bright pink beret. Several voodoo dolls, a chucky doll, a baby alive doll from the 70’s that constantly chewed, spun around in a circle and sprayed poop even with no batteries and clicked to off.
But this new doll. I really wasn’t worried at first. Not a whole lot came of Annie’s buying haunted mystery boxes and possessed items. There was the petrified poop from the Spinx and said to generate money to the holder. (I am not sure if it worked but Annie seemed to be spending more on those types of things.)
The coo-coo clock that rang every 15 minutes and howled like a ghost instead. The empty box that was said to contain a soul. She spent $75 for that box, beating out numerous other bidders. Apparently she only bought it cause she knew someone else a friend of a friend was complaining about it on facebook.
When the doll came and Annie held it out to me, I backed slowly away. It smelled really bad and it was kinda brown and dirty. It was a creepy gross looking rag doll, maybe like Raggedy Ann doll, and she was raggedy looking. Her name was Annastasiabell. It dawned on me what doll it was supposed to be when Annie put her in a glass box with a sign that said, “Don’t tap on the glass.” Of course Annie did it all the time.
When she did a lamp would fall or a window would break or a knife would come flying through the air and Annie would laugh and do it again. One afternoon K8 was over. Annie was off with Duh-Wayne some where and K8 felt that the doll needed a bath.
I told K8 about the doll breaking windows and stuff but K8 said if she was dirty she would probably feel the same way. K8 gently took the doll from the case. I ducked waiting for something to come flying through the air. But nothing happened other than the room filled with stink. K8 and I removed all the old stuffing and washed the outside of the doll. With new stuffing, new hair and a freshly painted face, the doll looked really cute.
Annie came home seen the doll and had a fit. She banged on the glass and nothing happened. The doll just smiled. She gave it to K8. Screaming as she stomped from the room that some ‘seller’ was getting a really low rating from her.
But the crème da la crème of her Halloween night was summonings Satan in the back yard. I begged her not to, but there she was right before midnight dressed in a black robe with Annie Jr. dressed the same way with magic wands yelling, “pell na check, gobblety gook, stinky skunks and flea infested rat bowels, seeka seeka seeka” then at the exact stroke of midnight Annie fell to the ground and so did Annie Jr and they screamed and spun in circles lights zapping from their wands. Then a red thing appeared from the ground screaming, “I’m melting I’m melting, ohh what a cruel underworld!” It was Duh-Wayne dressed red pajamas with horns a tail and a pitch fork.
“Good show, Annie and Duh-Wayne!” I yelled as I wandered inside, passing Duh-Wayne in the hall.
“Did I miss anything?” He asked.