School did not last very long for Annie Jr. once he began taking over the poop factory aka the family business.    He still was enrolled in several schools; the one that was closed for a water main break or no heat or snow day, that was the school he was supposed to go to. He spent about as much time at school as Annie did at my job.   But, it was a busy time.   They were ‘needed’.   The factory was expanding.   Dirt, hair extensions and the high sales in the everlasting poop plopper increased their work load and their earnings and spending.

Annie Jr was in high demand lately.   Not at the factory, Annie put Duh-Wayne in charge.   Spam handled the office and Duh-Wayne ran the factory.   The only problem with that was, Duh-Wayne had a difficult time running a factory 24 hours a day while Annie was doing some other cool stuff in the back yard.   So Annie cloned him so his clone could work at the factory 24 hours a day and Duh-Wayne could hang out with Annie and gamble.   Spam did not want to be cloned and she liked the Duh-Wayne clone he was a combination of Mr. Burns and Homer Simpson, somehow it worked.   Except Duh-Wayne had a bed in our home now, because he was either on the game floor or hanging out in the living room with Annie.   Annie felt it was best that way, she charged him rent and he tipped her.

Annie, Annie Jr and Duh-Wayne finished watching the Walking Dead series a head of time which made me happy because I was tired of Duh-Wayne Aka Abraham yelling Abraham’s final words repeatedly.   Annie could not wait for the new season.   Duh-Wayne needed a new part and Annie wanted Daryl aka Chad to finally get a partner so Aunt Paulie could get a part.   Any reason to hook Aunt Paulie up with Chad.   The break from Walkers was welcomed for all;   Annie wanted to get started on her new project.

Annie bought a pair of suspenders, walked a shuffly walk, and got a drawer full of glasses.   Annie Jr. got an old red truck, a cheesy ‘stash, and a couple friends (Remington and Tak who had a goat).   Duh-Wayne would show up complete with canned claps and he and Annie would get into all kinds of adventures while Annie Jr drove his truck around town picking up junk for the junk yard.   He drove by chairs in nice shape, dressers that needed a new finish, tables that needed a screw and picked up couches that could never be repaired, bags of junk and trash, old clothes that smelled like moth balls and urine, and a burned building was a gold mine.   Annie Jr. would gut that carting home sooty bath tubs and scorched doors.

Occasionally, Janey would show up and knock on the door and Annie would pretend to have a heart attack and throw a bag at Janey and scream, “Cover your ugly, Aunt Esther!” Chad and others would pop in and out, various friends of Annie.

Annie called both Duh-Wayne and Annie Jr, you big dummy but occasionally, she would call them Meat Head.    I’d heard a rumor through the cat grape vine that Annie had planned on me NOT finding out about Annie Jr. being a boy and was going to be playing a piano along side his wife Duh-Wayne and his daughter Annie Jr would live with them and her husband, Itchy’s cat Archer.   Duh-Wayne had hinted about Annie Jr. being a boy a couple times but I ignored it, apparently Duh-Wayne didn’t fit in the dresses Annie got him and she was demanding he loose weight forcing him to eat raw lettuce and run in a hamster wheel, he was thankful for his clone and had been hanging out at the factory with Spam until it was confirmed the project was Annie and son complete with the junk yard which Annie had been building since her days of watching Fat Albert with K8.

So nearly every day, Annie Jr. dragged home junk and Annie shuffled around doing stuff here and there, hanging out with Duh-Wayne and occasionally turning the junk Annie Jr. dragged home into ‘useful’ items that people could buy.

Like an old rotted door placed atop a turned over bucket with a bolt through both made a very cool child outdoor play ground toy.   It spun two kids around, as long as they weren’t too heavy and didn’t mind sitting on rotten wood.    Zombie fish flopping around on the bottom of the waterless cracked glass fish tank to freak out your friends.   That was a big seller.   An old couch made into a high rise for homeless rodents brought in additional funds Annie felt she needed.

I walked into the yard,  the junk yard one afternoon.   “Hi Slam,” screamed Maisy, a woodpecker who rented a bird house made out of an old battered mailbox, with a broken door.    I waved slightly.   A family of squirrels were pawing through the pee stained old clothes, picking out the prettiest fabric so they could refashion them into new clothing and bed sheets and curtains.

Annie sat in front of a display of furniture she had made.    A few match boxes glued together with a glue gun one on top of another became a dresser, the top of an egg  carton a comfy bed.    She had furniture, curtain, sheets, plumbing anything one of the new tenants in the back yard could need.    Have a nest full of new mouths to feed, Annie and Son had cribs and food and diapers.

A row of toilet bowl swings and bathtub hammocks, hung in some nearby trees, a few haunted lawn mowers were near a shed, (apparently Asa had friends) and a table full of egg shells, with a sign that read, “Rare  shells from Uranus.”   That was Duh-Wayne’s idea.   They sold really well, but only if Annie was selling them.

I was really getting ready for the new series of The Walkers to start; because by that time, Annie would be slowly creeping into other projects.  It always balanced out with Annie, she was always doing some kind of crazy, but her attention span was not too long so she quickly moved on to another kind of crazy.    However, I was sick of Annie and Duh-Wayne drinking moose made, selling stuff,  Annie sewing little mouse sized clothes out of a pile of nasty rags and Duh-Wayne whittling a piece of burned or rotten wood turning it into useful things like cooking pots or butter churns.   Sometimes, they went to St Louie (the gambling floor),  a few times a weeks, Duh-Wayne clone would show up with the company poop limo and they would go for a drive.   Duh-Wayne would stand up and hang out the sun roof wearing the poop hat, Duh-Wayne clone just had a regular hat.  They normally went to Walmart, after an especially good day of sales to spend their earnings and ride around on scooters harassing people.   Occasionally, they took their scooters out and drove around town hitting people who got in their way and running out of battery power in the middle of traffic.

One day, Duh-Wayne and Annie were out doing something or other and Annie Jr. came home.   He was really growing up and already bigger than Annie, even so he still liked to cuddle.    He tore off the cheesy ‘stash Annie insisted he wear all the time.

“I can’t wait til this is over.    I am tired of driving that old truck and collecting junk.”   Annie Jr. said climbing into my lap.   He smelled like an old fireplace.  “I wish I hadn’t told you I was a boy.   I’d like being Archer’s  wife right about now.   At least we could play video games and watch paw patrol while Annie sat in a chair complaining about stuff to Duh-Wayne.    But Duh-Wayne gave me $150 to tell you cause he missed Annie and couldn’t wear that dress.”   He started purring so I knew he was nearly asleep.

I pounced, “Why couldn’t you just tell?”

“Cause Annie paid me to not tell, but Duh-Wayne paid more.”

“Why didn’t Annie want me to know?” I asked.

“Cause she wanted me to soil Elaine’s good goody republitation,” Annie Jr. sighed.

“Reputation?” I asked.

“No Slam, you and your fool school.”

“How would you do that?” I asked and then it dawned on me.

Darn that Annie she was always doing something.    Annie Jr. purred in sleep kneading my arm and drooling.    I heard the poop limo farting up the street and thought.   This is your life.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.