“Darn it!” Annie yelled as she hammered away on her weather machine.
I haven’t said much about Annie’s weather machine but she has one. It’s my fault I suppose. I got K8 watching old Underdog Cartoons. K8 liked them but Annie became addicted; her hero Simon Bar Sinister and his weather machine and of course Annie had to get one. She found one at the dump and brought it home to fix it up. Fortunately or unfortunately for Annie, the only thing she could get it to do was generate enough wind to blow the fuzz off a dandelion, and then just a few pieces. So she enlisted the help of K8’s dog Lily the smartest dog she knew to help her. For a while it worked pretty well. She caused a couple floods, and a few snow storms over the winter when she felt like going to work but having the place shut down due to a storm was even better. Those days I liked Annie’s weather machine a little especially if she felt like going to work with me.
Lately she had been trying unsuccessfully to generate a hurricane the likes this world has ever seen; a category 52 hopefully named Annie. The more she tried to upgrade it the less it worked. Until finally, the weather machine would do no more than a morning dew for a torrential downfall of rain. The worst part was, Lily the smartest dog in the world had sadly passed away.
Annie never really liked Lily and her fool books as Annie used to say. Which is ironic because Annie liked Lily’s intelligence which came from fool books. Lily did like to read. Even so Annie offered Lily to return as a ghost, or perhaps a zombie like Kiko, but she only offered because K8 wanted her to and she didn’t try very hard to convince Lily. Now Annie needed Lily because her weather machine was barely functioning.
Annie begged Lily to come back offering her the extreme, highest honor of Head Walker. Lily refused, until Annie pulled the K8 card, saying K8 really missed her, which K8 really did but Annie had an ulterior motive. Finally, Lily agreed, but she wanted to come back as an angel. Lily, was filled with kindness, a sweet gentle dog, with a huge heart. She felt if she came back as an angel perhaps she could help Annie be a sweet kind cat instead of one full of devilment. It was doubtful but, there was always hope.
So Lily returned to the fine steel house she had built and Annie wasn’t able to bulldoze, like Moo’s house and Rosa’s house. She returned to visiting K8 every day after school for tea, she was appalled by Lars and begged him to settle down and stop visiting the Annie’s so much as he was becoming just as out of control. Lars agreed as he slurped tea directly out of the pot, gobbling the crumpets, Lily brought and grabbing the book K8 and Lily were discussing off the table to chew on. She had mid day tea with her friends, she worked in her garden, and helped Annie with her weather machine.
Annie wanted a huge hurricane for a couple reasons. One because she wanted it named Hurricane Annie. She has no idea how hurricanes are named but of course Annie never bothers herself with the details of anything. Secondly, she likes doing everything in a big way; a hurricane the likes the world has never seen would strictly come down on her shoulders and she felt it was an honor she could carry proudly. Lastly, she wanted Disney World to herself and a few select friends so she figured that a hurricane would keep people away from the resort and she could enjoy riding all the rides without standing in line, even though she goes once a week and just teleports herself and friends to the front of every line.
She got the idea to produce a hurricane with her weather machine from the news. She’s a news junky, she watches multiple channels at one time. Her game room has a huge room with multiple TV’s to watch the game floor to keep people from stealing, (stuff like poop?) and Annie spends a lot of her time watching those tvs. Since no one steals anything she just watches multiple stations at one time, all the major news stations, AnnieTV, cartoons, her walkers, little house. She got really addicted to the Hurricane in Texas.
She saw herself flying around on a broom, writing into the tornado, “Beware Slam” in black smoke. Then sailing through the air with a red balloon her face made up like a clown; Annie Jr. trailing behind with a red balloon as well, dressed in a bright yellow rain coat. She saw the looting and the smiles on the faces of those doing it. She wanted in on that. She wanted to swim down the middle of a main street or ride a dolphin that somehow made it’s way to her back yard which was now part of some ocean. She wanted to use her Lucille bat in a store gathering supplies that were needed and hitting someone over the head for the last can of pickled cherry pits. She wanted to sit on a roof and wait for a boat, grab a handful of wires, light up and look like an x-ray then have Annie Jr snap pictures of her to see if her bones were all good. It was her dream and time for a real vacation with Annie Jr.
She could have went as soon as she saw the storm brewing, but, lately she had been watching a lot of SpongeBob with Lars and Hay-Seuss. She’d watched that episode about Sandy going back to Texas, and I heard her all day screaming, “TEX ass, who like TEX ass, dumb TEX ass; what do you do there? Punch a cowboy, steer a steak, stand in a alley and say YUP and drink Moose made (which annie did on a nightly basis with Rov, Duh-Wayne, Coral, and my boyfriend.) No one vacations in stupid ole TEX ass.”
Florida and it’s theme parks became her ideal spot to start a category 52, with her weather machine. Originally, Lily set the weather machine to breakdown if Annie attempted to alter it but Lily knew it would not work if she attempted it again, so she told Annie it would be better if she set the dial to negative 52 because after all when the temperature got into negative digits, it causes problems. Annie bought it hook line and sinker and her weather machine was soon cranking out a category negative 52 set for Florida.
Fortunately or unfortunately, there was a real hurricane blowing into Florida. Annie was packing and ready to go on a huge vacation with Annie Jr. stopping to visit friends and family along the way. Like Dressy Jessy, a girl at work, who had just gotten married, I saw pictures of Annie and O.W. (Oliva Wendall), another co worker, with their faces in a punch bowl, but Dressy looked ravishing. My best friend Banana Anna, was down in that mess somewhere, probably hanging from a coconut tree picking some kind of fruit. Annie loved her and often said Banana Anna was named after her. Then they wanted to stop and see, Shay-non-non, she had a kitten named Mr. Remington Buckshot the same age as Annie Jr. and they had planned a huge play date.
Annie and Annie Jr. set off in their teleporter packed and ready to go. They had all the supplies they would need, flying broom, red balloons, clown make up, scooters with reved up engines to terrorize the retired community, bathing suits, air balloon, all day passes at the Disney resort and off they went. Annie screaming as she went, “Category 5 fake news everyone of them. It’s a category negative 52 named Annie. Annie Jr. put the TV’s on AnnieTV!”
Annie checked thing after thing off her bucket list. Sitting on a roof waiting for a boat screaming, “My kitten is out of pampers!”, repeatedly calling 911, while hitting her life alert button and live streaming her desperation, the sea weed covering her entire body was a little over the top. Her dream to go through the Haunted Mansion 48 times in one day almost beating the record she claimed to win back in 42. Even better was going through it with Grim (another coworker who became stranded in Florida while on vacation). With standing 200 mile an hour winds while tied to a road side orange stand with Banana Anna and looting garbage and poop off from city streets. Annie Jr. checked one off as well.
Their final stop after the winds had stopped and the flood waters rose, they donned their dry cat rain gear and head forward into Georgia to visit, little Remington Buckshot. He and Annie Jr. were best social media friends and had been since they were able to use their Ipads.
Annie Jr. and Remmie as they called him spent a happy day playing in the sunshine. Hide and go seek dressed in camouflage bib overhauls, chasing each others tails, and rolling and wrestling around both screaming, “Grrr I am a lion,” or “Grrr I am a tiger,” and once, “Grrrr I am a hiptopanamoose,”. While Shay-non-non and Annie sipped tea at a picnic table and chatted. Annie Jr. and Remmie had the times of their lives and fell asleep in a basket of clean laundry.
Annie Jr. never noticed, Remington’s wings and the little halo around his head because she always saw him that way. When little Remmie passed, Annie made one more angel. So Annie Jr. could keep her life long friend and Shay-non non’s momma would have an angel close by.
Author’s note: Remembering every single person who was impacted by the Hurricane’s that have and continue to happen. Also remembering Lily, a sweet girl, who left us a little over a year ago. And Remington Buckshot a lil Southern cat, whose memory needs to continue.