I wound up borrowing a little pink dress from K8 so Annie Jr. could have something to wear on her first day of school. Thank goodness Annie hadn’t torn Annie Jr. shoes into quilts. She probably hadn’t found a use for them yet; brewing cat nip tea or something. I was hoping her ‘Spiritual Side’ was going to end soon. If I had to hear one more versus of Kum-bye-YAH! MY LORD! or Bologna in the Wind, with Snowfish, Om and his zither.
They brought a goat named Oz, it was a girl, they milked her and tried to make some Limburg. They had been up all night. The house smelled like rancid cheese. Rats were gathering in the kitchen with plates.
I nudged Annie with my foot on my way to the bathroom. She was sound asleep her mouth open and drooling. She had a plate of limburg in her hand a rat was sitting on top of her helping himself. She was using Om as a pillow. “Annie get up. You need to get Annie Jr. ready for school. I laid her clothes out.” I whispered as I went by. I didn’t want to wake Oz and get her bleating again.
I got my shower and grabbed my purse and lunch bag and called for Annie Jr. Grandfather was dropping her off at school after he dropped me off. Annie Jr. was parked in front of the tv eating cereal and watching Tom and Jerry. She wasn’t even dressed.
“Annie Jr. didn’t Annie get you dressed and ready for school.” I asked.
“Nope and she didn’t make me breakfast either. Grandfather made me cereal. I wanted Limburg.” She pouted. “Mom-mom is still leeping. But she made my lunch bucket.”
Annie Jr. held up a bucket with a cloth over it. “Limburg! ‘Mell it Slam.” she asked holding it up.
“Yes Annie Jr. now come on and get dressed. You have to go to school!”
“I don’t want to go. I hate that dress. I wanted Paw Patrol. I will look stupid! I am staying with Grandfather!”
“Philly is going.” I said.
“My Aunt Phil!” Annie Jr. screamed. I could never figure follow Annie’s family tree, it was forever changing. One minute she was Philly’s sister, the next her grandmother, later on an Uncle.
“Come on,” I coaxed. “Get dressed.”
She looked so cute in her little dress and little pink shoes. She was really mad though saying she looked ugly. She would hardly hold still for a couple first day of school pictures.
Annie was supposed to get Annie Jr. after school and bring her home. I was surprised to see her in the car when Grandfather came to get me after work. She smelled awful, her dress was all dirty. I had to return it to K8. Darn it! And she was bouncing up and down.
“I had the bestest day!” she screamed.
“Oh, honey, I’m glad. See I told you! And you came with Grandfather to get me?”
“No, Grandfather hadda come get me at Slamma Jr.’s house. Mom-mom wrote a note that said I hadda go to Slamma Jr. house and Grandfather would come get me. Only Mom-Mom forgetted to tell Slamma Jr. or Grandfather. Her dementia is coming back.”
Yep! I thought exactly what comes after her Spiritual moment, Annie becomes Forgetful Frail Freda, with a horn stuck in her ear screaming to everyone, “Speak up sonny, I can’t hear ya?”
I sighed. Wondering what would come next or if she would be just Annie for a while. “So what did you do?” I asked. ‘Did you make friends?”
“Nobody likeded my clothes! I told you Slam no ones wears matching shoes!”
“I am sure Slamma Jr. had matching shoes on Philly.” I said.
“She did but she brings her own and changes them. Today she had a cockagator slipper on one foot and Slamma Jr.’s boot on the other. I forgetted to do that cause my dementia is acting up but I will remember tomorrow.”
“You don’t have dementia.” I said, “And neither does Annie. She stayed up all night and she uses it as an excuse to sleep all day.”
“We do Slam!” Annie Jr. insisted. “It’s heritage!”
I sighed. “So what happened fun at school?”
“My teacher Mrs. Meano peed her britches.”
“Her name isn’t Mrs. Meano.”
“Mom-mom said it was. You got a note from her you owe her new britches.”
“Why do I owe her new britches?”
“Cause my show and tell scared her.”
“What did you take?” I asked.
Annie Jr. yanked a rat out of her pocket. “Your fur real rat?” I asked.
“No Slam you said no toys at school. He is real. ” The rat moved then lifted his head and said, “Hi Slam.”
“Hi Gerald.” I sighed. “So that made it the bestest day ever.”
“No I had the bestest day ever at Slamma Jr.” she replied. “I love playing with Philly we watched Frozen 17 times.”
“That is good Annie Jr. Why do you stink?” I asked.
She climbed up in my lap and she did really stink. “Philly and I slicked our hair back with poop. Slamma Jr. was still trying to figure out why Philly smelled she kept changing her and saying she was sharting.” Annie Jr. laughed. “And I got this at school.” She pulled out a huge bag of poop. “It’s for Mom-mom.”
Annie was happy with her bag of poop. Well as happy as frail forgetful Freda could be. Duh-Wayne and Spam were there now minus the hippy names, Oz the goat and the zither. Bruce was with them. They were hovering around Annie tempting her with food. “Try this limburg shake,” Duh-Wayne said.
“My die-a-beat-us,” Annie screamed into a horn, patting Spam. “Cup of sugar please.”
Annie had her old lady glasses on and her hair was covered with soot making it look gray instead of white. She was wearing her granny night gown and a hair net. “Oh my dementia!” she moaned.
“Annie!” I said.
“Ethel is that you,” she said waving her hands around like she was blind.
“You don’t have dementia and you are not a 106. Everyone knows you are faking.”
“They do NOT!” she hissed.
“I will just take Annie Jr. to school from now on. Curry sent over a bag of cat clothes for her.”
“She doesn’t even have school tomorrow, Slam!” Annie yelled.
“Yes she does,” I insisted.
“School is closed tomorrow and probably all next week.” Annie said.
“Her teacher didn’t say that school,” I began
“I enrolled her in a different school for a while,” Annie said, “It’s in Florida and they have a hurricane coming so the school is closed. I hope Curry sent a rain coat. My mom got me snap chat and Annie Jr. and I are going to take pictures.”
“Annie no, she is going to school. She needs an education.”
“She’ll be getting it Slam, weatherlogy is sciencteriffic. ” Annie insisted.
“Are we taking the weather machine, Mom-mom?” Annie Jr. yelled jumping up and down. “Can we try a scatagory 52 this time, Mom-mom.”
I shook my head. Yep no global warming. Just Hurricane Annie.