There isn’t much worse than one of Annie’s poker nights…but jamming night is pretty close. My son, Rov, comes home on the weekends. Rov is a gee-tar (as Annie says) player. And normally his friends come. There is Slax and this kid who I dislike and is fast on his way to being a “Chad,” and of course Coral from downstairs. Annie loves these nights, she invites over Kiko and his banjo, Chad and his harmonica, and a goat named Ruben who blows into an old whiskey jug and he has bells attached to his horns that ding randomly. Of course, Annie has her fiddle. They drink Moose made root beer, and jam, talk, fart, jam some more. Rov is a pretty good guitar player, as long as you are not paying attention. But the rest of them are pretty bad, but enough Moose made, and everything sounds sort of good.
Normally I hate these nights, especially Annie’s fiddle solo, when she plays, “Annie when down to Georgia.” She throws a fiddle at someone and forces them to be Johnny, and it doesn’t matter if you can play or not you just do your best and most of the time you play better than Annie. That song gets played at least ten times and honestly, after all this time it never gets any better.
I am sort of looking forward to it this time, I randomly mentioned that when I was a kid, I liked this show called Captain Kangaroo. Annie heard me and started watching old episodes on the internet. If you have never seen it you need to.
Anyway, the other night I come home from work, Chad is in the corner dressed up as a huge Grandfather Clock, Annie is dressed as a Kangaroo with a sweater on and this wig that looks like someone stuck a bowl on her head and cut around it. Plug she has this big bushy mustache and both head and lip hair are grey.
There is a Moose and a rabbit sitting by the counter. I slap my head and think, “Why? He isn’t even a Kangaroo.” Then my boyfriend walks in wearing green jeans. I scream “Oh good god, not you too?” and Annie yells, “Mr. Green Jeans, can you say booger balls?” My boyfriend really confused by all of this and simply chose a pair of green jeans, yells, “What?”
The Moose screams, “You said the magic word! Right Bun?” and this rabbit who I finally notice is wearing a pair of glasses shakes his entire body like he is doing a full body nod verses just a head nod. “Right, Captain?” Annie screams, “Right Mr. Moose,” then “Right Grandfather clock?” Chad opens his eyes fast as if he were sound asleep and starts dinging. Someone was missing, then Kiko comes out dressed as a bear and starts waltzing around the room. Then I remember and yell, “Watch your head,” I brace myself for a rain of ping pong balls; they were balls alright. Booger balls, and then a couple buckets of snot for good measure.
How would anyone get that many boogers? That much snot. It’s Annie though. I am sort of glad that jam night will interrupt life at the Captain’s Place. I won’t even mention the Magic Toy Shop, I can only imagine Annie with a caboose on her head and Kiko dressed in a sailor suit with weird thick lensed glasses.