This weekend, I had to watch my granddaughter, Phil while her mom works.   I actually knew a few weeks ago.   I told Annie to let my boyfriend know that he had to take Saturday night off from work so we could get up early Sunday morning and go babysit.   Annie goes to work with him most nights because she got a job at the same place.   She does that to me too.    She works where I do( a call center) , and goes to my training class and sits right next to me.   She isn’t there the whole time, she comes and goes when she likes, and she doesn’t even show up half the time, and no one seems to care.   No one seems to care, that when she gets on the phone to answers calls she screams, “Don’t call us we’ll call you! Take our survey.   First call resolution people.”

Nights she goes to work with my boyfriend.   Why wouldn’t she?  He works fast food and she simply goes to eat, she goes with him all the time.    That is why I asked her to remind him.    I even had her write  the day down on a piece of paper and I looked at it and it said Saturday in her scrawly backwards lettered handwriting.   She reminded him.   He asked her five times if Sunday was the right day because he swore I said Saturday.   She even showed him the piece of paper with her scrawly backwards lettered hand writing and it said, “Sunday”.   So he took Sunday off which was  totally the wrong day.   When I questioned Annie she said she wrote both days down and picked up the wrong one…and I screamed “but I told you Saturday, you could have said that!”  And she says, “You know I have dementia and I forget cause I am OLD!”

Because he took the wrong day off, we had to change our plans, I would leave with him Saturday night to go to my daughter’s and spend the night, and he would go to work then come back to my daughter’s in the morning, sleep there while I babysat.    Annie complained of a cold all day, claiming she wasn’t going to go to work and just stay home covered in vicks.   Now, first of all Annie covered in vicks is the understatement of the year.     She literally dumps three or four jars into the tub and rolls in it and it doesn’t even help because it never gets past her fur.    But I was suspicious because when she has a cold all she wants is bucket of birds soup, and fresh squeezed, bumble bee milk.   She hadn’t asked for any of that she was gobbling food like a starving hippo and not acting sick at all.

So I told her she had to go with me and stay there.    She agreed then I told her no scooter, no teleporter absolutely none of her vehicles.   I was sure she was planning something while we were away. Alley was going to some party and so was Kiko so I was sure Annie was going too.   She changed her tune fast.   She ‘blew’ her nose felt better suddenly and was going to work with Dad.

The next morning he said his car was low on gas and he had no idea why.    On the way home,  we run out of gas.   We had no money with us.    Annie volunteers to teleport home to get money, which was dumb because she could have teleported all of us, and she gave up the fact that somehow she had gotten home to get it.   She teleports out fast,  my boyfriend and I  realize that Annie, probably drove the truck home while he was busy at work, and teleported herself and the truck back to his job.   My boyfriend probably never noticed she was missing.   He says he never sees her there too much, he said she normally lays in the back and crunches buckets of birds watching stuff on youtube.

Annie takes forever to come back and I keep calling and texting her and nothing.   We finally see her coming on her scooter with her “Make America Grate Again” helmet she made it herself.   She thinks the whole world should grate cheese for her.    The wagon is attached.   I am thinking why didn’t she just grab the money and teleport back why is she on the scooter and why does she have the wagon.   “Did you bring the money, Annie?” I screamed.

She looks at me like I am the biggest idiot in the world and says, “No I thought you wanted to get it so I brought the scooter and wagon.”

I am really mad now.   “Annie really?  OMG you are nuts.”

My boyfriend is like, “Just go babe.”

So I climb in the wagon, we go like eight blocks and the scooter stops.   Annie never charged the battery, and we are in the middle of traffic.   Cars are beeping and Annie goes, “I will teleport home and get the money to help dad.”  And she is gone before I can tell her to take me.

She teleports home, gets the money, teleports to Walmart, uses the money to buy a chain, teleports back home and gets her other scooter and drives it to the truck, attaches the chain and tows the truck home picking me up along the way.

We finally got home and as we walked up the stairs, the worst smell in the world hit our nostrils.   We opened the door and brown stuff was all over every single thing in our apartment.  It was poop.    Annie had a pa’jam’a party, which was why she wanted us gone.      They decided that squirt guns would be fun but they filled them with poop.  We stayed up all night cleaning, Annie went to bed.

 

 

 

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