It seems like whatever I have an interest in, so does Annie. I crochet, so does Annie. My boyfriend (Annie calls him Dad, I know it doesn’t seem right with me being her ‘grandmother’ but it’s Annie) and I started watching the ‘Walking Dead” and now Annie does. Most recently, I have developed a passion for cooking. I could cook fairly well, before but I like making up new dishes trying different spices, I am even thinking about making my own mayonnaise. Of course, Annie has adapted my passion. However, I won’t eat anything Annie makes, and it has gotten so I run when she is cooking.
For a long time, Annie has made her special dish called buckets of birds. As a matter of fact, several area eateries make it just for her, but only for Annie, it’s not on the menu and if you ask for it, they will look at you funny. Sometimes she mixes it up, instead of a buffalo chicken pizza, Annie will get a buckets of birds pizza or a bucket of birds sub, sometimes a buckets of birds happy meal; it just depends.
Buckets of birds are dead birds, feathers and all then dropping them in hot grease and just cooking them long enough to look crispy so they are all raw in the middle and the guts, and feet and eye balls and brains are there ready to eat. It’s gross and I can’t stand it. Even worse was when she decided to make bucket of birds baby food for my grand daughter. She ruined my brand new food processor. Of course, we would never allow my grand daughter to eat pureed dead birds but I have 7000 jars of it in my cupboard, and she keeps on canning.
Annie is kind of lazy, she refuses to catch any of her food. If there is a mouse, running around, he will stay running around. Birds, Annie lures them to her with pancakes as a matter of fact, she is very friendly with birds. When you see a flock of them flying around, you know Annie is close by yelling, “Fly my pretties, Fly Fly!”
Instead, she travels the roads and collects dead animals along the road. She will come home with a wagon full of assorted carcasses, squirrels and birds mostly, but she has brought home deer, foxes, raccoons, rabbits, an occasional cow and once she brought home a moose. The worst is when she brings home a skunk because she makes costumes out of the skin. I hate it when she wears her skunk one. Lately though, she and Kiko dress as Rocky the flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose.
When Annie goes on a road kill hunt I know she will be cooking the next day. We currently are well stocked in pickled skunk eyes, jars of 4 and 20 black birds for pies, frozen brains, mice gizzards, crispy mouse tail cereal, tasty assorted liver ice cream, blood sauce for rabbit tail meat balls over a pile of bird feet. It’s really disgusting.
She really wants to get her own cooking show. What will she call it, “Cooking your Road Kill?” Who would even watch it?
Thankfully, I got up really early and got dinner going. Annie offered to cook tonight and now she won’t have to.